Why do manners matter? Because in a world increasingly defined by intolerance, fear and ignorance, manners are our armour against the chaos of incivility. Manners protect us from our fears and give us a platform from which to conquer them. When confronted with the unknown Georgians pull out their handshakes like arrows from a quiver, letting them fly to their marks with stealth and grace.

 

We are all fearful of something. It may be meeting people for the first time; dealing with emotions that make us uncomfortable; or simply loneliness. Perhaps it’s the nagging doubts that keep us from sleep at night. Wondering whether or not we are going to succeed at whatever task lies ahead. Manners give us the confidence to wade into the waters of fear and keep our heads above water.

 

On the first day at a new camp, when my young son knew no one on the bus, he put his anxiety aside with a flawlessly executed Georgian handshake offered to a cabin mate and his parents. This simple act allowed the boys to do what comes naturally – laugh, play and move on to adventure.

 

The handshake is really a one-two punch of good manners. First it breaks the ice and then it opens the door to conversation. Even though it may only be about the weather or the news, it’s an open channel to that sea of shared experience. Ironically, in the age of social media, it is this sense of actual personal interconnectedness that has suffered the most. We are urged to join the global conversation but it all happens behind a screen - literally. Everyone feels the desperate plight of the Syrian refugees most acutely but when they get here surely it will be the firm handshake of friendship that makes them most welcome. Manners Maketh Peacemakers.

 

When Georgian boys graduate they don’t leave their manners on Howland Avenue. They pack them in their bags as they head off to university wielding them like lances into the next joust. They will take them into job interviews unhorsing the competition with the first handshake. They will unfold them gently in their personal relationships and lay them out for their own sons to pick up and wear. And in their final hours, like for Jonathan Hames (’88), the handshake gives Georgians a way to say goodbye with dignity.

 

You don’t have to be a Georgian to act like one – ask your son to show you how. Listen more than you talk. Put the electronics away. Be patient in the car, in meetings, at the cash register, on the subway. Show respect. Say thank you. Hold the door. Acknowledge other people and their contributions. Make conversation. Practice humility. Stand up for others. Try unleashing a Georgian handshake on someone you don’t know and transform that moment into something worthwhile.

 

Manners Maketh All of Us.